I bruise easily

But it takes so much to break me

I have so many scars

Yet I remember the story behind them all

Those who've hurt me

Those who've help to heal me

You'd think I'd learn from past mistakes

Yet I seem to repeat them

It's hard to give in

And give up

You may see me

You may think I'm weak

And even stupid

Standing here so bruised

Repeating the same mistakes over and over again

But don't judge that which you don't know

Because I stand here strong, stubborn, and sure

Because I have something you can't see

I have hope

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Do what I must

Lord give me Strength

To make it on my own

Give me the Courage

To stand up for what I deserve

Lord give me what I need

To say what I must

There are things happening

I don't know where anythings going

I don't know what he wants

But I know what I need

What I deserve

But its so hard for me

To speak my mind

Few things in life are easy

Anything worth having

Is worth standing up for

So Lord give me Strength

To make it on my own

Give me the Courage

To stand up for what I deserve

Lord give me what I need

To say what I must

All my life I’ve tried to make everybody happy
While I just hurt and hide
Waiting for someone to tell me it’s my turn to decide

"King of Anything" Sara Bareilles

Did you know

Did you know that you’re the first thing I think of
When I wake up
And the last thing on my mind when I fall asleep
My dreams were never so sweet
As they have been when I'm dreaming of you

Did you know when the phone rings
I’m praying it’s you
I dread saying goodbye
Because it’s a reminder of all the time
We can’t spend together

Did you know the very thought of you
Makes me smile
When I’m having a bad day
All I have to do is think of you
And everything seems okay

Did you know
That you’re only a dream

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I dream about you

And the Man that you will be

How will we meet

What will we say

I don't know

Because I don't know you

There are so many things I have to say to you

Things I want you to know

Things I want to share with you

I've been waiting for you all my life

Waiting to get to know you

Waiting to be with you

I don't know you

I've never met you

But I wait for you

And I dream about you

And the man you will be

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Listening to a song and they were talking about true love being blind because God is still standing next to the sinner. That got me thinking about love being blind and I'd have to disagree because love is seeing somebody's imperfections and loving them anyway. At least thats what I think.

They say that true love is blind

But You see me the way I am

All my imperfections

You know all the mistakes I've made

And you love me anyway

You see me the way I truly am

But you see the potential for who I could be

You believe in me

You push me to be better

Real love isn't blind

Its vision is 20/20

For love that is blind to the truth

Is only setting itself up for disappointment

You can't hide your imperfections, problems and mistakes

Because that would make your love a lie

True love is about acceptance

And thats the love you give me

You see me for who I am

But you see the potential for who I could be

You help me to be a better person

You help me to stay strong

Because that is what loves all about

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Treasure Hunt

I'm searching

I'm waiting

For something

I don't quit know who

But I know what

I'll never settle for less than everything

Because I deserve everything

All the happiness but also the troubles

I don't know where to look

I don't know where to go

But I know I'm not lost

For one day I will find my treasure

I'm going to continue on my treasure hunt

Without a map

Without any clues

I may not know where I'm going

But I know what I'm getting

I'm searching

I'm waiting

For something

I don't quit know who

But I know what

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I've Changed

I'm not who I once was

I have changed so much over the past few years

I'm stronger

More confident

But maybe a little jaded

I've learned lessons

I could have missed out on

I experienced things I knew happened

But never thought would be me

I may look just like I did way back when

But the girl you once knew

Is now a woman with a story

A story of trails, pains and let downs

But also of hope, friendship and love

I'm not who I once was

I have changed so much over the past few years

I'm stronger

More confident

But maybe a little jaded

You may think I'm just the same

But if you took a moment you'd notice

I'm not who I once was

I've changed

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Mow Mow Mow

This a poem I wrote from my friend RoLo, I always say Row Row Row your boat when I'm talking to her or trying to get her attention or just joking. So she thought I needed one for myself and this is what we teamed up and came out with. Yes I know its immature but its supposed to be and funny!

Mow Mow Mow Your lawn

Fastly down the yard

Misery Misery Misery

How hot it is out here

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Good Enough

I've been pushed down

I've been doubted

I've been made to feel lacking

I've been made to feel like I wasn't good enough

It is hard to go through every day

Telling myself that my time will come

That no matter what, I can make it

That I am worth everything

To feel rejection everyday

To have your hopes risen up

Just to have someone still them all away

I can tell myself that I'm not lacking

That I am good enough

But somedays its hard to make myself believe it

After being pushed down everyday

Its hard to get back up

I've been pushed down

I've been doubted

I've been made to feel lacking

I've been made to feel like I wasn't good enough

I've gotten to the point where I just don't care anymore

I'm tired of trying and I'm tire of waiting

I don't know what happened

And I don't think I ever will

You could have had everything

I would have been kind, funny and dependable

But you didn't get to know me

And now you'll never know

Just who I really am

So here I go

I'm moving on

Because I'm tired of waiting

I no longer care

I'm strong enough to stand on my own.

I dream about my future, as if it is a big blank canvas and it can be anything I want it to be. I have no clue where I am going or what I will be doing. As I dream, filling my canvas with a map of where I want to go, and who I want to meet, I know that you have your own map, and it will not be anything like I planned. Sometimes I wonder if you look down on me and all my dreams and plans and chuckle a little. Not a mean laugh but one of a Parent watching a child knowing how much they have yet to grow. How much I wish I knew what would happen, I know I will make it through all of the trails I have up ahead, but I just want some warnings. I also want a glimpse of what is to come. There are so many things I dream about, so many maps and plans I make but they all lead to the same ending. I want to find that person to complete me. I feel as though something is missing, and maybe I should not expect some guy to feel that void but it is more than that. I want to find that person that loves me and will stand by me through what ever comes. I want someone to start a family with. I want to watch my belly grow knowing that there is a baby inside depending on me. I want to watch my children grow knowing that they are loved. I want to feel as though I made a difference.